Not to plug my new supernatural thriller, "The Great Dick: And the Dysfunctional Demon," but you may be asking yourself just how I managed to create such an exciting and, as one reader put it, "horrifying and delightful" story, and still weave in a rich vein of dark humor. And all for just $14.99 in paperback? You may be asking yourself that.

Well, thanks for asking. My secret? I listen to music when I write. This column, for example, is at this very moment being created with the help of — or perhaps in spite of — what's either Todd Rundgren's "We've Got to Get You a Woman" or the Moldovan National Anthem. But creating a supernatural thriller that can laugh at itself — and did I mention, it's a mere $14.99 — required an even more horrifying type of music. Music like:

"Dust" by Fleetwood Mac

Fleetwood Mac? Aren't they much too pop for horror? Actually, "Dust" was from an early incarnation of Fleetwood Mac, with no hits and lots of drug problems — not the later version of the group with lots of hits and even more drug problems. The lyrics to "Dust" come from a 1909 poem by Rupert Brooke, who was no bundle of sunshine.

"When your swift hair is quiet in death

And through the lips corruption

Thrust to still the labor of my breath."

"Midnight Mile" by The Rolling Stones.

I hear about another mad day on the road "with a head full of snow," and I'm picturing Keith Richards as the guitar-playing, coked-up, walking dead. Perhaps not a huge stretch.

"I Put a Spell on You" by Screaming Jay Hawkins. Writing about obsession?

Here's Screaming Jay screaming that he doesn't care if you don't want him. It doesn't matter to him at all. He's still yours. Your feelings don't matter to him in the slightest. A non-returnable gift that threatens to keep on giving.

"She's Not There" by The Zombies

This one doesn't make my list for the name of the group, but for the mood the music evokes. And the lyrics do have a touch of the sinister. Apparently, there's this mysterious, lying woman causing untold suffering, and like the singer, we can only wonder "how many people cried." I know what you're thinking. But the song was released in 1965. It couldn't have been about Martha Stewart.

"No Bravery" by James Blunt

I thought this guy wrote love songs, but this one features shallow graves, burning houses, the odor of death and dying families. After listening to this, writing horror cheers me up.

"Tie a Yellow Ribbon" by Tony Orlando. Not a horror classic, just a horrible song. I can't listen to it without dreaming of tying a yellow ribbon tight enough to silence the chorus forever. And I understand the reasoning of a homicidal demon.

Last and in so many ways least, "Black Sabbath" by Black Sabbath

Apparently, Satan, with eyes of fire, is coming after the singer. That might explain the vocal. I think this one is from the Black Sabbath album, "Blue Skies, Sunny Days and Lollypops," but it may be from "Kittens, Puppies and Other Easy Meals." To quote a key phrase, "Please, God help me.

Take a listen. The singing sounds like a weasel caught in a meat grinder. The question this little ditty raises is more theological than musical. Namely: Why would a loving God allow something like this to exist? And to somehow be a hit? When I first heard it on my car radio, I thought my transmission was disintegrating, but it was only humanity's musical taste.

Check out Barry Maher's dark humor supernatural thriller, "The Great Dick: And the Dysfunctional Demon." Contact him and/or sign up for his newsletter at www.barrymaher.com.

To find out more about Barry Maher and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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