DR. WALLACE: As a girl who's a junior in high school, I noticed that my moods tend to fluctuate. I've also noticed that my moods change, depending upon those of others around me, particularly close friends or romantic interests I've had. In the past, I've tended to adopt a drop the energy of those around me rather than standing up for my own emotional independence.

Fortunately, I'm now outside of a relationship that was not in my best interest anyhow, so I'm able to resume dating now with a fresh start. Is there anything you can recommend that I should consider so that I don't fall into my old habit patterns? — I Need to Break Free, via email

I NEED TO BREAK FREE: Starting right away, promise yourself that you will focus first on how you feel, how good of a person you know yourself to be and not let the moods of others bring you down, especially when they're sour.

Start each day being happy about yourself. You know you deserve it and that you're a good and reasonable person. If and when things don't go your way, instead of feeling bad about them or adopting the moods of others, take this as your sign to rise above the situation and protect yourself and your feelings emotionally. Doing this is like building a new habit so that you can achieve mental and emotional strength. Just as an individual would go to a gym or lift weights at home to build muscular strength, you should proactively stay mentally out in front of each situation you find yourself in, starting right away.

MY FATHER WANTS TO SEE ME STUDY ALONE MORE

DR. WALLACE: I'm an excellent student in school and one of my favorite things to do is to study with others. I found over the past year and a half that I do my best studying when I'm with multiple friends and fellow students who are serious students like I am, as I truly enjoy immersing myself in a harmonious group studying dynamic. We alternate reading chapters and then discussing them together and we all find that we get quite a bit out of studying this way. I've gravitated into being sort of the leader of the groups I'm in and everyone seems to enjoy this.

However, when I often leave our family home to go study in a group at some other location, my father feels I'm not spending enough time studying seriously by myself at home.

I find this puzzling because I get excellent grades and he certainly knows this. How can I get my father to lighten up a bit and understand what I'm doing and why? — Truly Benefit Group Dynamics, via email

TRULY BENEFIT GROUP DYNAMICS: Your letter didn't mention whether or not you've done some of these study groups at your own family home. If you haven't yet done so, please set that up as soon as possible and seek to do it at a time when your father can witness at least part of your study session with others. He may come away with a different perspective if he can understand exactly what you're doing.

Sometimes parents feel that if they don't actually see things with their own eyes, they're not confident in exactly what's going on. Another thing you could consider doing is to take an hour or two every Saturday morning early and do some studying at home by yourself in full view of your father while he's getting his morning coffee or beverage of choice.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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