DR. WALLACE: I'm 12 years old, and I got a puppy last Christmas. My young dog is now almost a year old, and I love him very much. My older sister never paid any attention at all to my dog when he was a puppy. But now all of a sudden, she always wants to take him down after school and walk him at the dog park.

My older sister is 16, and a friend of mine told me that she wants to take our dog to that dog park after school because there's a 17-year-old boy from our school who also walks his dog every afternoon there. According to my friend, she spends all her time at the dog park walking around with this boy, and sometimes they take the dogs off the leashes to run around with each other.

I know for sure my sister is not interested in my dog; she's just using my puppy to spend time with this boy. Should I tell my parents what I know so that they will forbid her from "using" my puppy any longer? — My Sister Is Using My Dog, via email

MY SISTER IS USING MY DOG: It sounds like you have a good network that provides you direct information on what's going on at your local dog park!

I feel one of your best strategies here would be to have your parents allow you to occasionally go with your sister to the dog park. You don't have to do this every time, but it would break up the situation a little bit, and you would likely enjoy seeing your dog run and play with other dogs. Dog parks are always carefully fenced and locked so that the dogs do not get outside, so it's quite normal for dogs to be let off their leashes at a dog park.

I do agree with you that your sister likely has an ulterior motive for walking your dog, but in my view, it's relatively harmless, and your dog is benefiting by the extra walk and exercise. Jump in and participate occasionally with your sister, and don't be too harsh on her even though she has an obvious agenda regarding this activity.

I'M TIRED OF SECOND-GUESSING MYSELF

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15, and I often get confused in the moment when various situations come up. Then when I think about it an hour or two later, I start to second-guess myself and think I should've reacted differently or made different comments.

I find this really frustrating and don't know what to do about it. Do you have any suggestions that might help me better react to situations in real time? I also wish I could communicate better in my conversations with my friends, teachers and even my parents. — I Often Second-Guess Myself, via email

I OFTEN SECOND-GUESS MYSELF: Your experience is entirely natural and is magnified for teenagers slowly growing into adults. Just about everyone has this journey in life and goes through it to some degree or another. Hopefully knowing this will make you feel like this is a more normal experience than you may have first realized.

As to how to best address the situation, I think it's great that you're taking mental notes and going over situations in your mind after they have already been experienced. When you realize that you wished you had made different decisions or comments, or taken different actions, perhaps you could get a notebook and very briefly outline a different action you might've taken.

Keep this notebook handy and review it every morning before you go to school and every evening before you go to bed. This will allow your subconscious to help stock your mind with what you believe to be more appropriate responses and actions as you go forward. This should also give you confidence, knowing that you have planned in advance to utilize what you've gradually learned from the past.

Keep this up and I trust you'll feel better and better going forward. And don't be too hard on yourself, I've got quite a few more years of experience than you do at this point, and I often second-guess some of my own comments myself from time to time!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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